There I was, standing 20 meters away
from Agnes. Seeing how happy she is right now with her family gives me no
reason to hold on to my feelings for her. I have to let her go so she can find
someone who can love her more than I do. It was the most important but
decidedly not the easiest decision that I’ve made. For the last time, I look at
her intently and turn away before I lose control. As I walked away, I can’t
help but reminisce with all the memories that we once shared…
It was first day of school when I met this girl whom I thought would be the
last person I would fall for. This girl named Agnes was too plain and simple,
silent and a bookworm. She was a total opposite compared to the girls I like
who is sexy, damn attractive and popular. As far as I can remember, we were
classmates during Tuesdays and Thursdays. Whenever she arrives, she would go
straight to the back portion of our classroom and read her books while most of
the girls are busy doing their makeup, chit chatting and flirting with boys. I
never talked to her even once because I don’t want to be tease by my friend
since I am Mr. Popular in our school. But one day, my animosities, my
oblivions, my entire life, in fact, have taken a hundred-eighty-degree turn.
My best friend and I had a fight because of my girlfriend. I found out that my
best friend and girlfriend was cheating on me. I was so furious with my best
friend not because he stole my girlfriend, but because I felt so stupid and it
bruised my overweening ego. He even gambled our friendship over a girl whom I
never loved anyway. Aside from my bruised ego, I was also hurt physically
because Carlo was more build up than I. I hurriedly went to my favorite spot in
the building to pacify myself from anger and to escape from humiliation. I was
still grasping for my breath when I heard someone humming my favorite song. I
don’t know what to do at that time because I was torn between listening her
soft and sweet voice that soothes into my ears, or confront her for trespassing
my favorite place and invading my privacy as well; but then, I preferred the
latter. When I rummaged the place to know where the voice came from, I was
dumbfounded to see Agnes. All of a sudden, I found her beautiful at that time
especially when her hair danced with the wind and fell perfectly into place. I
was enchanted by Agnes’ hidden beauty. But when I felt my lips ached, I
suddenly realized why on earth I was standing right then and there. I abruptly
approached Agnes and confronted her.
“Hey! What are you doing here? Don’t
you know that you disturbed me and invaded my privacy?” I asked her coldly.
To my surprise, Agnes did not answer me but stare at me. I was about to demand
for an explanation for disregarding my question but instead she offered me her
handkerchief. I was befuddled by her action not until I realized that she was
actually staring at my distend lips. I guiltily accepted her handkerchief and
wiped the smeared blood. Before I could utter a ‘Thank you’ and apologized for
being so mean, she spoke coyly.
“I’m so sorry for disturbing you…
for invading your privacy. I… I really don’t know that you were here. I’m
leaving as soon as possible. I’m sorry…” then she walked away.
I was left speechless and guilty. I thought she would defend herself and throw
insulting words at me. I felt so bad. Yet, I felt so happy because I was able
to hear her sweet voice and discover the inner beauty beyond what she always
carries. I promised to myself that I will make it up to her first thing in the
morning.
Lucky enough, Agnes and I were classmates in one of my subjects. My attention
was focused to Agnes. I did not mind all the rumors and gossips that the
students feast on. All that matters to me was Agnes. I walked in school as if
nothing really happened. When I arrived in our classroom, I was already
expecting that Agnes was in her usual place reading books. But to my surprise,
there was no trace of Agnes. I was starting to fret because it was the first
time that Agnes was not yet around and we’re about to start our class. A few
minutes later, Agnes came in. I sighed in relief when I saw her. When she
entered the room, she gave me a quick glance and proceeded to her seat.
When the class ended, I looked for Agnes but failed to see her. I hurriedly
packed my things and went out. Then, I saw Agnes.
“Agnes! Wait!” I called her.
Upon hearing my voice, Agnes walked faster, trying to ignore me. So I walked as
fast as I could and blocked her way.
“Look Agnes, I… I… I… just want to…
apologize for talking to you harshly and treating you rudely. I felt so guilty.
I didn’t mean it. I was just affected with what happened yesterday. You know
what I mean right?” said I.
Agnes nodded.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m fine now. Thank you for
the handkerchief and I’m really sorry. Can you forgive this handsome lad?” I
asked sheepishly.
Agnes smiled and said, “Yes handsome lad.”
I was surprised the way she answered and felt so happy. I can feel that she was
already at ease with my presence so I took the chance of asking her friendship.
“Can we be friends?” I asked shyly.
“Sure,” she said.
“Thank you beautiful Agnes. You just
don’t know how happy handsome lad is.” I answered.
Agnes giggled and blushed.
***
Seeing my brother-in-law and niece playing and laughing makes me happy for my
sister who’s been blessed with a happy family, and dejected at the same time
upon remembering Marco and imagining my life today if only Marco did not let me
go. He was my first and last love. I can never hate Marco for not holding on
with our relationship because he filled my heart with love and I love him more
than he ever knew. I will always be happy reminiscing with our past especially
the day I put my heart at stake. That was the day when Marco and I started as
friends…
“Thank you beautiful Agnes.
You just don’t know how happy handsome lad is.”
I was really blushing when Marco said that I am beautiful. I felt like I was in
the cloud nine. For an ordinary girl like me, it was such a dream comes true.
He was the only guy who made me believe that prince charming do exists. He was
like a fallen resemblance of Adonis. He was tall, fair-skinned, handsome,
intelligent and athletic. He was like the prince charming in most fairytales
that I watched. I never expected that I would find him this soon because of the
belief that prince charming only transpires in fairytales. Marco and I were
classmates in one of my subjects. I never talked to him even once and always
keep distant from him though it was undeniably difficult for me because of his
magnetizing characteristics and irresistible charms. Besides, I’m not that blunt
type of girl who would show up and tell my feelings for him and I know that I’m
just an ordinary typical girl who couldn’t match his exceptional features. I
know what kind of girl he likes, yet I can’t tolerate myself from dreaming that
one day, I will be her princess. That’s why when he asked me to be his friend;
I did not think twice and accepted his friendship.
We became good friends. Marco and I
always hang out in our favorite place. I found out that we have tons of
differences yet I like him more and we had so much to talk about. He never
fails to make me laugh each day. We were always together as if we’re afraid to
lose sight with each other. Sometimes, Marco holds my hand, looks at me and
plasters his heart-thawing smile which makes my heart drummed against my ribs.
I don’t know what’s the meaning of those sweet gestures but I can’t help myself
from hoping that he’s already falling for me. But, one day, my hope was gone
with the wind when I saw Marco and his ex-girlfriend kissing with each other!
My heart tore into pieces when I witnessed that scene. My first heartache hurts
like hell! I feel so stupid for hoping! I can already feel my tears streaming
down to my cheeks. I ran and found myself in our favorite place. There, I
poured all my emotions. I cried so hard and freed my heartaches. I felt numb
after crying up to the last tear. What hurt me most was the fact that I don’t
have the right to confront him and I’m not in the position to demand for an
explanation. It was entirely my fault in the first place; for letting myself
fall for him. I can’t hate Marco. The best thing to do right now is to avoid
him and go on with my life without him beside me albeit it hurts.
I tried to avoid Marco the next day. I always see to it that he can’t get close
to me. I always run away from him and hide. I ignored his texts and calls. I
tried not to visit our favorite place though I miss that place a lot. I did
everything just to help my self forget him and mend my broken heart.
But one day, fate was not with me. I was so engrossed looking for my bracelet
in my bag that I did not notice the person walking towards me. I bumped with
that person and looked up to apologize only to see Marco. I was about to turned
away from him but before I could, he grabbed my arm.
“Why are you avoiding me Agnes? Is there something wrong?” he asked sadly.
I looked into his eyes and saw sadness in it. I felt like crying at that time.
God! How I miss this man. I don’t know how to answer his question. All I could do
was to looked into his eyes and feel the touch of his hand against mine. Then I
close my eyes to hide my true emotions and said,
“I’m so sorry Marco. I really don’t want to avoid you. No, there’s nothing
wrong with you, it’s me. I can never hate you Marco. I’m not in the position to
confront what I saw between you and Liz. It was entirely my fault. I was so
stupid to let myself fall for you. I know that you can never like me nor love
me. Yes it hurts but I can still manage. I’m saying this to you because you are
my friend and I want to be honest with you. Please forget everything that I
said after this. I’m happy for both of you. You deserve each other.” I said
without opening my eyes.
He reached for my cheek and said, “Open your eyes. I want you to look at me
while I’m talking so that you will know if I’m lying or not.”
Slowly, I open my eyes and saw Marco smiling at me. I look straight into his
eyes and saw love if I’m not mistaken. I waited for him to say something. I
don’t want to hope for nothing for the second time.
“Forgive me Agnes if I hurt you. I didn’t mean it. There are no us between me
and Liz for the second time. I have never loved Liz. I don’t believe in love.
Love for me was just a stupid thing. But since the day you disturbed me and
invaded my privacy in my favorite place, I got this eerie feeling that was new
to me. You did not only disturbed and invaded my privacy but you also disturbed
and invaded my heart. Thank you for trespassing in my heart. You make me
realize that love does exist. Love begets you. I don’t want you to be my friend
anymore. I love you Agnes. Will you be my girl?” he said.
I could not believe what he said. My heart was beating so fast. It was the
happiest day of my life. I cried and said, “Yes Marco and I love you more.”
Then he kissed me.
Each passing day was magical for us. Marco never fails to show his love for me.
We were so attached with each other. We always have each other around. Marco
and I spent most of our time in our favorite place. We had lots of memories in
that place. There, we planned our marriage our family, our family, and our
future. That place attested our genuine and lasting love with each other. We
will always cherish all the sweet memories we made.
Then out of the blue, a bad news transpired that tests our relationship. Marco
and his family had to move temporarily to their province. It was so hard for me
to be away with Marco but we had to face this challenge. Before Marco left, we
spent most of our time in our favorite place. There we stayed and talked with
each other.
“I will miss you Agnes. I really don’t want to leave you. I don’t want you to
cry because of me; it will only break my heart. Always remember that I love you
so much and my heart belongs to you always and forever.” he said sadly.
“I will miss you too Marco. I’ll try my best not to cry so that you will not be
hurt. Please take my heart with you so you will always remember my love for
you. I don’t know when are we going to see each other again, but I just want
you to know that I will wait for you. That’s a promise. I love you so much.”
After several months, I received a call from Marco. I excitedly answered his
call.
“Hello Marco! I miss you so much! Is your family coming back here?” said I.
“Hello Agnes. I miss you too. Please listen to me. I… I will never… see you
again. I will never be back. I’m setting you free Agnes. I’m giving your heart
back. Please find someone who will love you more than I loved you. Always
remember that I love you so much that even death can’t take away my love for
you.”
“No Marco! Please stay! If you really love me, you won’t let me go! Why are you
doing this to me?! I don’t want my heart back Marco. It’s no use if you’re
going to leave me. A promise is a promise Marco. I will wait for you… forever.”
I said crying.
Then the line went off.
***
After five years, I receive a miracle. My disease was cured. I could not
believe it! Thank God I’m still alive. I remembered my last conversation with
Agnes. I remembered that she will wait for me no matter what. I was really
hoping that she still loves me. I called her but it was out of coverage. I
hurriedly book a flight back to Manila to surprise her. But because of the bad
weather, I have to wait for a week. Each passing day was a torture for me. I’m
afraid that Agnes already found someone new. I regretted what I said to her. It
got even worse when I receive a letter. When I open it, the first thing that
caught my eyes was a wedding invitation. My hands were trembling when I read
Agnes’ surname with the surname of the man she will marry. It tore my heart
into pieces and threw the letter and invitation without even bothering to read
it. The only thing that matters to me was that Agnes is getting married and
it’s too late for me. I cried so hard and remorse what I said to her.
***
I sent Marco a wedding invitation for my sister’s wedding together with my
personal letter hoping that he will attend t my sister’s wedding so I could see
her. It’s been five years since we had our telephone conversation. I can still
remember what he said, but I never gave my heart to anyone. My promise for him
will remain, and I will wait for him forever.
***
After a year, I decided to go back to Manila. Even if Agnes is already happy
with her family, I would still love her. Before I went home to our province,
there’s still one place that I want to visit. My feet were leading me to our
favorite place, and sit on the same area where I first heard Agnes’ sweet
voice. There, I close my eyes, and remembered all the memories that Agnes and I
once shared…
***
After remembering all the memories we’ve shared, I decided to leave my sister’s
house and went to the very place where it all started. When I arrive in our
favorite place, I sit on the same spot where I hummed the same song that I was
humming when Marco confronted me while my hair dances with the wind. There, I
close my eyes, and remembered all the memories that Marco and I once shared…
* I'm giving you the chance to
decide whatever twist of fate you desire... * :)
